Trashification

I watched this the other day and just died laughing. It really resonates with me.


“It is my personal opinion that all things, all objects, everything you own really only exists as part of a parade of garbage to the dumpster. Everything you own is pre-garbage. Your home is a garbage processing center where new things are purchased and slowly demoted through various stages of trashification until you’re done. It starts out you’re excited. You bring it home you put it on the kitchen table. You read the instructions. You tell all the people in the house all about it. And then some time goes by, you realize maybe you’re not going to be quite as keen on drying out fruit and storing it in your basement as you thought you were going to be. And so the object is demoted to the closet. It’s there for awhile. Eventually it lands on the floor, you start stepping on it to reach newer things that are just beginning on their journey to junk. Then the garage. The garage can be one of the longest phases for the object. But it is the most definite. No object in human history has ever successfully made it from the garage back into the house. Even the word garage seems to be a form of the word garbage (prounounced garbajjj). When you’re living in the same room as the garbage cans, well, it won’t be much longer now. Really, eBay is the only thing that can save the object at this point. Ebay, of course, another great step forward in human culture. Hey, why don’t we mail our garbage back and forth to each other. It’s all gotta go, my friends. Everything is thrown out in the end. Even we are thrown out, in the end, my friends. And when I hear about someone that died and wanted certain important personal possessions put in with them when they’re buried, I’m all for that. Take your crap with you."

-------------------------Jerry Seinfeld on Late night with Conan O'Brian Friday, November 2, 2007

PS I was going to link to the actually episode so you could watch it in person. But NBC's website is having difficulties. I think they're changing stuff around. anyway, i'll fix it later. It is hilarious to watch the words come from him.

PPS They removed this episode from the website. So you'll just have to take my word for it that he was hilarious.

Life's Important Questions

Over dinner tonight we were discussing this important question:

What would be the worst thing to step into?

Yes, I know, it is a most pressing question to ponder.

Here's some of what we came up with:

• A bottomless pit


• A pool of elephant diarrhea (these kind of answers are common with boys in the house)


• A helicopter rotor


• A pit filled with razor blades covered in lemon juice


• A room where they make glass panes (contains a pool of molten tin on which to float the glass panes. I didn't get this at first either. This kind of answer common with smart guys in the house)


• A bunch of angry skunks and porcupines


• A vat a whale vomit (again, a boy answer)


• An avalanche of rabid boars and porcupine


• An active volcano

What do you think would be the worst thing to step into?

Playing Beauty Parlor Again

Aspen has been begging to get her hair cut for months...well planning to cut it for months and begging to actually do it for the last 2 weeks. So rather to setting up an appointment, taking her 45 minutes away, and paying $$$$ for Scott to do it, I decided I would give it a shot. I figured that I would only be out a half an hour of my time if it didn't turn out and I could then turn to Scott to fix it. I think it turned out decent. Obviously, Scott would have done it better, but hey, she's 10 and not so picky, and I saved $$$$ and 3 hours of my life. It's been a win-win day.

Before:
90 seconds later:
The end result: side view
back view:

It's over...for now

Isaac had a great season. His team made it to the semi finals for the season. He didn't play in the last 2 games because they were played on Sunday, but they got 3rd place. Isaac is a really good ball player and we'll be playing again with the same team in the spring. Yippee:]

Texas Maize Maze

The kids didn't have school last Monday so we went on a little outing to the Sweet Berry Farms. In the fall they sell pumpkins. There are also hayrides, pumpkin painting, horses, and this really cool Maze. It is planted in the shape of the state of Texas and grown out of maize (corn). While in the maze, the goal is to find 12 stations and get your card punched. Then the card gets you a soda (not that terrific a prize, but motivating for kids all the same.) Anyway, I thought the maze would be really easy. Not! It took us almost 2 hours to find all the spots to punch our cards. The older three had a lot of fun. Hazel was a little scared. I thought it was pretty cool.

Then we went on a hayride.

Run towards the light children!!!

Hazel came home with her very own pumpkin!

Hazel's Nail Salon

I went to change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. It took about 2 minutes. Hazel was around the corner from me about 5 feet away. She had found the black nail polish, sat down on the carpet and opened it. The proceeded to paint her own nails. Luckily, she did a fairly good job and none got on her white shirt or the floor. So we finished the job. I guess out of sight is truly out of mind with a two year old.