WARNING!! This won't be pretty

This is a picture from last night, 3 days post-op. The bruises on my cheeks and chin are moving down my neck. Now they are turning yellow and purple. They look worse than they feel. (Nate says I should have done the surgery before Halloween and gone as a car accident victim.) The swelling has gone down some on my face. Mostly I am still numb, which makes eating a bit difficult. Half of my lower lip has feeling but they don't touch yet. My lower eyelids are numb too. My teeth dry out and my nose feels cold on the inside. But I can't feel anything but my tongue. And then there are these twitches... It is a very strange feeling.

Things I am Grateful for

I am so grateful for Vickie coming to help out after my surgery. Nothing would have gotten done without her help. I have a clean house, all my laundry done and happy kids. Thank you so much Vickie. I really appreciated the help.

Here's a few other things that I am grateful for.

1. A blender to make smoothies and purify everything else

2. Rubber baby spoons that fit into my mouth

3. Liquid medicine, especially painkiller

4. Pillows

5. Good, understanding kids and husband

School Spirit

Aspen and Isaac both received awards at school for perfect attendance and honor Roll and good citizenship. Aspen's class sang at the assembly. Fortunately, Grandma was able to go to watch. Then on Saturday, Aspen's jumprope team, The Hotshots, performed for the first time at the school fall festival.

Looking back

25 years ago:

1. I was eight and got baptized.
2. I had my first slumber party with my friends.
3. I wanted to be a singer like Crystal Gale (I loved her knee length hair).
4. I had a pet cat named Klinker.
5. I loved getting hand-me-downs from my cousin Bonny.

20 years ago:

1. I was 13.
2. I had the most horrendous haircut of my life: mullet that was permed & looked like an old grandma). I don't know what I was thinking.
3. I was the only girl in my gym class that did not wear a bra.
4. I played the piano and the flute.
5. For this one year, I was taller than my sister, Erika.

15 years ago:

1. I was 18 and a freshman at BYU.
2. I was there when my youngest brother, Axel, was born.
3. I had no car, and so I rode the bus, my bike, or walked a lot.
4. I wanted to be a forest ranger.
5. I threw up, for only the second time in my life, after drinking a half a glass of tap water in India. I was so sick that I crawled in bed with my parents.

10 years ago:

1. I was 23 years old.
2. Nate and I had been married for two years and had 1 year old Toby.
3. We were moving from a summer internship in San Jose, CA back to Chicago where Nate was getting an MBA.
4. I was pregnant with Aspen.
5. I got the second worst haircut of my life: I asked for a short hairstyle and ended up with a boy's haircut. I cried for a week.

5 years ago:

1. I was 28 years old.
2. I had 3 children: Toby 6, Aspen 4, Isaac 2.
3. I was on pet dog number 3.
4. We lived in a house that was built in 1970 and had a center door knob on the front door.
5. I spent an entire summer with my kids in Utah (I was homesick).

1 year ago:

1. I had a baby, Hazel, after a six year break. It was like being a new mom and starting over again.
2. I had jaw surgery for TMJ and was on a liquid diet for 3 months.
3. I started gaining weight and put on 15 pounds, after I had the baby.
4. I started having insomnia.
5. I started blogging.

Today:

1. I am doing the hardest thing ever in my life by trying to recover from this last jaw surgery.
2. I am grateful to Nate and Vickie for taking care of me and my family. I can't do any of it right now and they are they best.
3. Hazel finally likes me again. She's gotten past my very swollen face and just wants to sit with me.
4. I still have insomnia. Thank goodness for Ambien.
5. I'm dizzy and slow and way out of whack because of the meds. I don't like this out of control feeling.

My new face

I went to the doctor this morning. Here are some pictures that they took during surgery before all the swelling. The first is me before. The second is my new chin. The third is an xray showing all the plates and screws (41 of them) that they put in my jaw. The surgery was the last one to fix my TMJ. Three years ago I had to wear a splint to reposition my jaw. Then for another 18 months they adjusted my bite with braces. Last year they fixed the hinge in my jaw. I recovered from that for a year, still wearing braces. This time they enlarged my upper jaw, leveled the lower jaw, and brought it forward. In addition he straightened my chin (it was pointing to the side due to the unevenness of the lower jaw) and the septum in my nose (which is connected to my upper jaw) and cleared my sinuses so that I can breathe better. He didn't know how I was breathing as well as I was before. However, because of all the swelling, I'm not doing so good right now. If I can just get through the next couple days and all this tightness and pain then I'll start feeling better about all this. At least for the most part everything is numb. Mostly I feel a lot of tightness and pain associated with the swelling. I'll be on a liquid and very soft foods diet for the next 3 months. (At least I'll not gain the holiday 15!)

I look like Gwyneth Paltrow

As the fat girl in Shallow Hal.

My surgery went well. I'm back home. I am not taking any pictures this time. But if you want to imagine how I look, it's like the fat girl in Shallow Hal. The lower half of my face, from my lower eyelids to my neck, is hugely swollen. I also look like I have a black and blue beard because of the bruising. My face is all numb. And as long as I take the pain meds I am not in any pain.

Unfortunately Hazel won't even look at me. So I have to cover my face, except for my eyes, to talk to her. Toby said I looked a little funny. Hopefully the swelling will go down in the next few days. I can't imagine why people would get cosmetic surgery like this on purpose. It doesn't seem worth it if it wasn't for real reasons. The worst is the itching on my face where it is numb--scratching doesn't do any good.

I'm so grateful to Vickie for coming out to take care of everyone here this week. I couldn't have done this otherwise. I'm also grateful for a husband who stayed the night with me in the hospital on an uncomfortable chair/bed.

Anway, I'll keep you posted.